Humble Pie

For those of you who don't know me and didn't want to read the novel that is the background info on me....my family and I have had a rough few years financially. We have uprooted and moved chasing one opportunity after another. Our emotions have been up and down and down and even further down! To add to our stress we had baby number two during the roughest part of our marriage to date (sweet blessing that he is). And now we are in Japan where I am constantly uncomfortable, annoyed and reminded that I am not where I want to be in life. But today I joined a networking website with our home church and as I was reading through the various prayer requests that people were making regarding their baby's heart transplant, or a friends 5-year-old's brain surgery hoping to cure the seizures she's been having 6 times an hour for a year or the prayer for a friend who got home from a 12 month deployment from Iraq and tragically watched his wife get hit by a car and killed right in front of him. And remember the funerals I went to of friend's children I knew who went home to Heaven far to early for one reason or another. And I have to say I feel blessed. During this time of giving thanks I have been struggling to stay positive, to not be angry at our situation, to remember our blessings and not be selfish. But it is so hard sometimes! Today I remember that as uncomfortable as I am, and angry as I am at our situation in life I AM BLESSED! I have two wonderful, healthy, beautiful children who are loved and fed and happy. I have a WONDERFUL and loving husband who would walk to the ends of the Earth for his family. I have two sets (thanks to marriage) of spectacular parents who are willing to go out of their way to put a roof over our heads in our time of need. I have many other family members who are willing to help and be supportive to us during our struggles. I have a multitude of friends who love and care for me and my family's situation and pray for us to find steady work and get back on our feet. And I have a God who, even though I can't always hear Him, loves me and has a good plan for our lives. So during this time of trial and tribulation, the nights of no sleep and days of constant anxiety over the next step in our journey together...I AM THANKFUL. I AM BLESSED. And I pray for all the people out there who have to deal with cancer and illness and death and infertility and financial hardship and divorce and other losses. You are not alone and you are loved!

Hairy Situation

Nathan couldn't stand it another day so he and Stephen tried to cut their own hair. LOL First, by using a beard trimmer and then by using some actual barber scissors. Stephen was the one experimented on and when he ended up looking like he had hair plugs he decided they needed to get an actual hair trimmer. They got one and then the fun really began!!! First it was just Nathan and Stephen...then Keagan, Caleb and even Jack!!! The only guy who missed out on the buzz cut today was Rick! hahaha The boys look soo cute =) It's so weird to see Keagan without his little faux hawk!! He looks like such a big boy! Jack doesn't really look any older, he kinda looks more like a baby with no hair. His hair is so thin still anyway that having it short doesn't make a whole lot of difference. Except to somehow make him cuter....if that is possible!!! =) Both boys loved it! Keagan was super excited to be a part of the action and Jack thought the trimmer tickled!! I would have cut my hair too, except the grow-out stage is such a pain in the butt!!!

"throws hands up"

Ever heard of having a bad day?...Try having some bad years! So sick of all the crap. Is it so bad to want an average life? I feel like I did used to be somewhat materialistic, not any more that your normal everyday Joe, but somewhat. Now the only things I hold onto are my toothbrush and contacts. Seriously. My thinking has shifted so much from when I was kid. Its crazy.

Something else I am curious about...why do we live our lives worried about what other people will think or say. Even now as I write this totally nonsensical post I am editing out some things I really want to say. Its so stupid. Will people love me less if I am completely honest and if that honesty isn't beautiful or even nice. Do I have to have sunshine coming out of my butt at all times in order to please the freakin world around me. I am so sick of having my hands tied and my mouth shut and my thoughts sensored. If you are reading this please know that I probably love you, or at least like you in someway, so please don't be offended. Don't read it if it offends you, don't expect me not to write it. This world doesn't revolve around you, it revolves around me. It's my blog.

I'm cranky and going to bed.