"throws hands up"

Ever heard of having a bad day?...Try having some bad years! So sick of all the crap. Is it so bad to want an average life? I feel like I did used to be somewhat materialistic, not any more that your normal everyday Joe, but somewhat. Now the only things I hold onto are my toothbrush and contacts. Seriously. My thinking has shifted so much from when I was kid. Its crazy.

Something else I am curious about...why do we live our lives worried about what other people will think or say. Even now as I write this totally nonsensical post I am editing out some things I really want to say. Its so stupid. Will people love me less if I am completely honest and if that honesty isn't beautiful or even nice. Do I have to have sunshine coming out of my butt at all times in order to please the freakin world around me. I am so sick of having my hands tied and my mouth shut and my thoughts sensored. If you are reading this please know that I probably love you, or at least like you in someway, so please don't be offended. Don't read it if it offends you, don't expect me not to write it. This world doesn't revolve around you, it revolves around me. It's my blog.

I'm cranky and going to bed.

Japanistic

So, I have a few things to blog about today. And for the most part they are un-related! lol First, I was talking to Kelly (my SIL) the other day and she was telling me the Japanese people sit on the floor in the shower!!! WTH?! She asked her hubby about it, because he is Japanese, and he said that taking a shower is supposed to be relaxing and standing up isn't so they sit down. hahahaha! Gross! But they do have special mats that they buy so sit on the floor while they shower. If you want to sit while you bathe...take a bath??! Silly Japanese people.

Ok next on the agenda is that in the last few years I have realized how very few good friends I actually have and its really sad. I am here in Japan and I find myself wanting only to talk to a few choice people. Not that other people aren't important or lovely to be with, its just interesting to see who actually gives a $h^# when it matters. What bugs me most is when the people who ought to care don't. The people you wait for a response from and it never comes. The people who consistently disappoint you but you keep hoping. A big part of me wants to throw my hands up and say "fine, screw you," but I can't because, again, these are the people who are supposed to be there for you. So to all you out there who are loyal and actually care...THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. And to all you out there who don't, but should, thanks for nothing. You make my life just a little more miserable and you suck. (cuz its all about me of course, its my blog damn it)

For my final word...I have decided that Japanese isn't a real language. I have been here for two months! Its just a bunch of made up sounds and random scribbles, because seriously....I still don't get it. Is it because I don't like fish??? hmmmm

Good Day, Bad Day, Happy Day, Sad Day

Sunday was an interesting mix of good and bad, happy and sad...lots of mixed emotions! Mostly it was good. Keagan did great as far as potty training goes! NO accidents all day! And we had a family birthday party for Jack-a-Mo, finally! He had no idea what was going on, but we all had fun and he got some cute stuff =) He was mesmerized by the candle, but Daddy had to blow it out. Keagan was all for helping open the presents til he realized that he couldn't just take whatever he wanted from them! lol I made the cake and the frosting - because they don't sell frosting here and I didn't find the cake mixes until after I was done! *sigh* The cake turned out "alright" but the next time I make one from scratch there will be a few minor modifications to the recipe. I sorta kinda made a Winnie the Pooh looking character with my home made frosting. Luckily there was some really good ice cream to go with the cake!!! Eh....I tried!
The sad part of the day was learning that my grandfather had finally gone to be with Jesus. I'm glad I had so many distractions because otherwise I would have just cried all day. I have so many mixed emotions about not being able to be there for my parents now. Not being able to say goodbye or attend the funeral. But I know everything will go fine and he is in a better place now. So I just gotta suck it up and not feel sorry for myself, because ultimately that is what it comes down to.
In other news, happy news, Jack finally signs please now!! He just really got it yesterday!! He still squeals at you for whatever it is he wants, but he says please at the same time so its ok! =)

Shizuoka

Ruthanne, Nathan, the kids and I all went to Shizuoka today to turn in visa paperwork and application stuff. It was pretty fun! =) It's pretty small for a big city, but we did get to go to Starbucks!!! Crazy how something familiar can be so comforting and nice =) The elevators in the building for the immigration office were so small that the double stroller and I barely fit into it and we all had to go separately! Me and dbl stroller in one and Nathan, Ruthanne and the umbrella stroller in the other! lol And even though we were downtown there weren'y really any sidewalks on the main streets! Tre-weird I say. We did get to cross the road diaganally which was pretty darn spiffy though. Got some good video footage in the car of the kids....they are just so cute! And of course we had to stop at MacDonald's fo lunch or Keagan would have never forgiven us! hahaha Oh, a day in the life....

Sad

My Grandpa George is in the hospital right now and his kidneys have finally failed. Its not a surprise, but hard all the same. I'm just so thankful that we got to spend a little time with him before we came to Japan and he got to meet Keagan and Jack! Its hard not being able to be there for my Dad as he is going through this, and for my Mom who is helping him through it or even to say goodbye to him one more time. Although those are not the memories I want to keep of him I suppose. My Mom said that he is not in too much pain and he's not alone. He is not a candidate for dialysis so I guess now its just a waiting game. Love you Grandpa George!!!!

Homework

Well, I went with Angela and got some books to learn Hiragana and Katakana, two of the alphabets here. its pretty interesting. the books are for 4-5 year olds so....I'm feeling pretty funny studying my little book with a teddy bear on it! hahaha There is just so much to learn! Hopefully I will be able to remember some of it though! Some of it is so similar though and I just don't get what the difference is! Plus there is no way, that I know of yet, to know when you hold something or make it short except by learning as you go. Like Nathan was ah-meh (short) means candy but ah-meh (longer) means rain.....hmmmm????? Okay, well, I'm still gonna try =) i'll let you know more on how it goes! Matane!!!

Over The Hill

I "ran" again today! I don't weigh any less though and that was my second time! WTH?! LOL Anywho...I'm gonna try to do it more often. There is a really nice track nearby that goes along the river.
Got surprised by a cockroach in the shower after my "run"...super fun! I totally screamed like a girl =)
All the family, except Stephen who is in Tokyo, came over for dinner tonight. Monday is typically the Justus Family day off and it's Jamie's last one here since she and the girls leave Thursday. So, everyone came over for dinner and a surprise-ish birthday party for Nathan and Angela!!! They share a birthday, October 3rd, and this year is a big one (30 and 40) so we celebrated while Jamie was here!! =) They got "Older Than Dirt" and "Almost Older Than Dirt" cakes! And lots of gifts. It was fun!
Now all the kids are in bed and the house is mostly cleaned up and we are watching the end of ID4 on tv. Good Times, good times!!